


WILD (Blue Neighbourhood series)

by jellyarefish



Series: Blue Neighbourhood (Phan) [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Phan, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Phan, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Letters, Love Letters, M/M, One Shot, Songfic, blue neighbourhood - Freeform, wild
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 10:36:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7357819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellyarefish/pseuds/jellyarefish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>''Every single day could be our October of 2009.<br/>Because the most important of it all is that you make me feel at home, Dan.''</p><p>Phil writes a letter to Dan, and he asks him if he wants to move with him, to Manchester. He misses Dan so much, and in the letter he starts to remember all their memories together, since the day they met.</p><p>(This is the first one-shot of the Blue Neighbourhood series, and it's inspired by ''WILD'').</p>
            </blockquote>





	WILD (Blue Neighbourhood series)

**Author's Note:**

> The lyrics written in the fic, are not written in Phil's letter. I put them there because they are the exact lyrics that I used to write the paragraph under them. Enjoy!

_**From: Phil Lester. To: Dan Howell.** _

_''Trying hard not to fall''_

I knew that weekend wouldn't last forever. I knew once it finished I would only be able to see you through a screen, as well as I knew how much it would hurt to forget your scent and how good it feels to have your skin right on the tip of my nose. Still, October was the month of trying not to fall in love with you, Dan. You went back to the south and, ever since then, Manchester was empty without you and I even remember how I looked for you among the crowd on the streets and shopping centres, as if I would find you. Sometimes I saw someone who resembled you, a fringe around here, dimples over there. But they always had that small flaw of not being you. I tried not to fall in love too much with your laugh or with the way your eyes wrinkle a bit when you smile. Because after all, I knew you would come home, and that I wouldn’t do it without you. It was a way of protecting myself, something selfish so that you wouldn’t hurt me when leaving. But trying to avoid those small details made me more aware of them.

_''Kissing up on fences and up on walls''_

I also remember the day we were heading to the station and the train was waiting for you when I was just hoping you would stay longer so we could spend more days like those. So we could laugh until late at night watching Wall-E on my sofa and eating ice cream at 3 am, and when you held my hand and my lungs drained because the chills, even more than when I hugged you on the platform as soon as you got off the train. But the only thing I could think of at that moment was that friends also hold hands, right? I guess that while you thought about how much you would miss your favourite youtuber’s laugh, I thought about how I regretted not kissing you at the Manchester Eye the previous night.

_''I guess it's all working out, now''_

I spent whole nights wondering if you thought of me. I thought of how you blushed sometimes on Skype when I laughed way too much. I thought of the smiley emojis you always sent me along with your good night text. I didn’t know if you liked me, I had no idea. And, partly, the fact that you took a year off before enrolling in college helped in the final answer. You stopped being the 2009 Dan I knew; stress took over you, the pressure was too high for what you could endure and, before letting you disappear entirely, I paid you the train tickets to Manchester. You started making videos; we even recorded some together at that time. I noticed that, due to your studies, you didn’t smile much when I wasn’t around, so I tried to be there as much as possible. I tried to be there for you. Winter came: the days were shorter, and the nights longer. My garden was snow-covered and since my parents had come home early, we decided to go out. I don’t know how we ended up on the floor, making snow angels and throwing snow balls at our faces, causing your hair to curl a little at the ends. Neither do I know how we ended up reaching the conclusion that some constellations could be better identified than your handwriting. And neither do I know how your lips ended on mine that night. I only know for sure that each time you smiled a little bit more.

_''Cause there's still to long to the weekend''_

And I write this to you a Sunday afternoon while you’re on a train back home. Although you now come each weekend I feel as though I’ll just anxiously wait for your arrival on Friday for the five remaining days. Mondays are the worst days, without caring about college or everything else. I hate them since there is too much time left for the weekend, and along with it, you.

_''Too long till I drown in your hands''_

And what I miss the most is the tiny you look when you rest your head on my chest and you fall asleep without me noticing. The fact that I keep commenting extensively on the film amuses me until I see that your eyes are closed and your mouth slightly open. Then, I don’t laugh because of the film, but at your sleepy face. The little things that make me laugh are the things that I miss more than anything. Because you can still tell me “I love you” via Skype, yet we can’t compare heights, or see how you tiptoe in an attempt to gain those inches that are needed to touch our lips. And that is what I would like to do every day, Dan.

_''Too long since I've been a fool''_

Because I can’t draw on cat whiskers every day with anyone, nor can I ask someone to record me for YouTube while acting silly, which make you having to cover your mouth behind the camera as you don’t want to laugh out loud. I do those things with you that seem impossible when you’re not there. We’ll be the two boys with opposite fringes that act foolishly on YouTube, but I don’t know, Dan, I… I feel at ease with it.

_''Leave this blue neighbourhood''_

And I hope you feel the same, Dan, for when I chose my new flat in Manchester I think that, deep-down, only thought of you and that I had more than one room. When the other day you told me in the early hours of morning that you wanted to return to college I thought of us, Manchester and my flat. I mean, it’s okay if you’re not ready, but personally living with my best friend would be fun. You’ll find me there when you’re stressed out and you’ll be able to fall asleep on my shoulder and, the best of it all is that there will be no countdown as we won’t have to wait to see each other anymore. I know you like the comfort of your house and that my flat has no air conditioner, even though it would be a good plan to cuddle together at 2 am wrapped up in the sheets, while you laugh because I won’t stop complaining about your cold feet.

_''Cause when you look like that I've never wanted to be so bad''_

Then, and only then, I would see your curly hair when you came out of the shower and the colour change of your chest from tan to pale as the seasons change. I would place my finger on your dimple when you laughed, and not only wanting to do it when you laugh behind the screen. And the most interesting part is, I would grumble whenever you played the piano at dawn, yet I would feel contradicted at being able to fall asleep to the sound of your favourite piece.

_''Running on the music and night highs but when the light's out, it's me and you now''_

And I’m aware of the fact that we are sometimes on the street and you look at me with those eyes, feeling the urge to pinch my cheeks and put our lips together. And I’m aware of the fact that we can’t do that, because we don’t know who will be looking and you’re scared that people know. But Dan, inside that house we could be ourselves, because when the doors closed, it would only be you and me. Every single day could be our October of 2009. Because the most important of it all is that you make me feel at home, Dan.

**Author's Note:**

> You can see the rest of Blue Neighbourhood series in my profile. Every song, has a fanfic. Please, comment if you liked it! <3 English is not my first lenguage, so sorry for the mistakes! If you see something wrong, please correct me in the comments. :)


End file.
